Year in review 2020
2020-12-16 11:42![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
muneca_bravaLike every year, here's my 2020 in personal best-of lists and resolutions!
Reading
Hilary Mantel - The Mirror and the Light
Leigh Bardugo - Grisha 'verse
Movies
Sing Street
Begin Again
Portrait d'un Jeune Fille en Feu
Queen and Slim
Television
Babylon Berlin
Critical Role
Avatar : the Last Airbender
Fandom
I hung out in good old Critical Role Land for most of the year, also watched a lot of youtube and got a little invested in all the ~drama
Fanfiction-wise, I did a lot of comfort reading of old faves, especially Dean/Cas during the pandemic, and dipped a toe into A:tLA fic (both Zuko/Katara and Zuko/Sokka).
But mainly, in september one of my favourite youtube channels, The Try Guys, made a video where they watched BTS music videos for the first time, which made me watch those same 10 or so BTS music videos for the first time. I then went into some sort of fugue state and came out on the other end a full-on BTS ARMY. I have listened to most of their albums multiple times. I have spend hours upon hours watching interviews, livestreams, fancams, performances. I have watched dozens of episodes of their game show. I have watched three seasons of their travel show. I have a bias (RM), a bias wrecker (Taehyung), I have read fanfiction about them, I came close to buying a goddamn plushie from their official plushie merch line. I watched their online concert. It's been great and terrible at the same time.
Music
BTS
Taylor Swift - Folklore
Fiona Apple - Fetch the Bolt Cutters
Matt Maeson
Getting into k-pop has made me rediscover a love for music that I'd lost years ago, and from september on I've been listening to a lot of music of all kinds. (I also made a playlist with my songs of the year here)
Podcasts
Someone Knows Something
Ride or Die (esp. the S15 shenanigans)
old faves: Empire, Pilot, My Dad wrote a Porno, Redhanded, Reply All
2020 is the year that I
Lived through a global pandemic
Tumbled head-first into BTS fandom
(I honestly don't know which of those two would have been a bigger shock to me a year ago)
Started doing yoga
Re-evaluated some big things about myself, like my sexuality and what I need to do to be happy
Mostly the global pandemic thing though
last year I wanted to
Be more honest with myself about what I need, and act on it. This means: look for a partner. Look for another job. I don’t necessarily have to find them, but I need to acknowledge that I want them and try to move towards them. I did try to keep this resolution. I started this year going back on a dating app, dating a guy for a few weeks, and seeing a therapist. I also have a plan for my job which basically boils down to waiting a year or twofor a possible promotion and if it doesn't happen, looking for something else.
The dating thing but also the lockdown did make me rethink if I actually want what I thought I did, though. I have different resolutions now, mostly to put myself out there a bit more and take care of myself better. However, the pandemic has made it hard to actually make the changes I want to.
Same goes for other stuff. I already know what I need to be happy; I need to read, I need to watch movies, I need to cook and bake, I need to exercise, I need to go outside, I need to socialise. So do more of those things instead of sleeping and watching youtube. Again, the pandemic made this more complicated. Partly, I did this: I exercised more, I cooked more. Sometimes, though, there are other things that also help me. This year made me realize the value of fandom and the excitement that comes with it. I was trying very hard to battle my mental health issues with the things I mentioned here, but it was impossible. Socialising wasn't allowed, and my mind was unable to focus on things like books. I couldn't bring myself to feel excited or interested in absolutely anything, until on another day of braindead youtube watching, I suddenly felt a spark of interest when I started wondering which BTS member was the hot one in that one video (it was JK, who I would now never call 'the hot one'). I am so grateful to have felt so much excitement these last few months: for the new album, the new music video, the Vlives and Bombs, the Grammy nomination. I wish I could have felt that for a new book or a trip with friends but it just doesn't work that way. I don't know what would have happened these last few months if I hadn't found BTS but I know it would have been shit.
Get out of my own head enough to enjoy the wonderful things I already have planned: Scotland, weekend away with my friends, etc. I tried this very consciously for the weekend away I got to go on, so that was good. The trip to Scotland was unfortunately cancelled
End the year feeling less bleak about the future than this year Weirdly, yes. Right now, I'm okay with the future - maybe because I haven't been thinking about it as much lately, maybe because the pandemic has shown you truly never know what will happen next.
Do better at managing my household This has its ups and downs, but generally I do okay
Write. Not for anything or anyone, just write - reviews, blogs, the outline for that story I have in my head - anything. I completely forgot this was a resolution, huh. Not really, also didn't feel the need.
Next year I want to
If life returns to 'normal' at some point after the vaccinations start: enjoy all the little things I have been missing because of the pandemic. Restaurants, bars, theaters and concerts and cinemas full of people, crowded streets without a mask on, seeing my friends every few weeks in real life, going on trips, going on holiday.
Drive again
Do yoga regularly
Try to find a good balance between fandom and the other things I love
It's so hard to look forward or plan anything not knowing how the pandemic will evolve next year! So maybe just...keep it simple. Honestly, I just want to try living in the moment more. Just do the things I want to do, if I can. Don't take anything for granted.
Reading
Hilary Mantel - The Mirror and the Light
Leigh Bardugo - Grisha 'verse
Movies
Sing Street
Begin Again
Portrait d'un Jeune Fille en Feu
Queen and Slim
Television
Babylon Berlin
Critical Role
Avatar : the Last Airbender
Fandom
I hung out in good old Critical Role Land for most of the year, also watched a lot of youtube and got a little invested in all the ~drama
Fanfiction-wise, I did a lot of comfort reading of old faves, especially Dean/Cas during the pandemic, and dipped a toe into A:tLA fic (both Zuko/Katara and Zuko/Sokka).
But mainly, in september one of my favourite youtube channels, The Try Guys, made a video where they watched BTS music videos for the first time, which made me watch those same 10 or so BTS music videos for the first time. I then went into some sort of fugue state and came out on the other end a full-on BTS ARMY. I have listened to most of their albums multiple times. I have spend hours upon hours watching interviews, livestreams, fancams, performances. I have watched dozens of episodes of their game show. I have watched three seasons of their travel show. I have a bias (RM), a bias wrecker (Taehyung), I have read fanfiction about them, I came close to buying a goddamn plushie from their official plushie merch line. I watched their online concert. It's been great and terrible at the same time.
Music
BTS
Taylor Swift - Folklore
Fiona Apple - Fetch the Bolt Cutters
Matt Maeson
Getting into k-pop has made me rediscover a love for music that I'd lost years ago, and from september on I've been listening to a lot of music of all kinds. (I also made a playlist with my songs of the year here)
Podcasts
Someone Knows Something
Ride or Die (esp. the S15 shenanigans)
old faves: Empire, Pilot, My Dad wrote a Porno, Redhanded, Reply All
2020 is the year that I
Lived through a global pandemic
Tumbled head-first into BTS fandom
(I honestly don't know which of those two would have been a bigger shock to me a year ago)
Started doing yoga
Re-evaluated some big things about myself, like my sexuality and what I need to do to be happy
Mostly the global pandemic thing though
last year I wanted to
Be more honest with myself about what I need, and act on it. This means: look for a partner. Look for another job. I don’t necessarily have to find them, but I need to acknowledge that I want them and try to move towards them. I did try to keep this resolution. I started this year going back on a dating app, dating a guy for a few weeks, and seeing a therapist. I also have a plan for my job which basically boils down to waiting a year or twofor a possible promotion and if it doesn't happen, looking for something else.
The dating thing but also the lockdown did make me rethink if I actually want what I thought I did, though. I have different resolutions now, mostly to put myself out there a bit more and take care of myself better. However, the pandemic has made it hard to actually make the changes I want to.
Same goes for other stuff. I already know what I need to be happy; I need to read, I need to watch movies, I need to cook and bake, I need to exercise, I need to go outside, I need to socialise. So do more of those things instead of sleeping and watching youtube. Again, the pandemic made this more complicated. Partly, I did this: I exercised more, I cooked more. Sometimes, though, there are other things that also help me. This year made me realize the value of fandom and the excitement that comes with it. I was trying very hard to battle my mental health issues with the things I mentioned here, but it was impossible. Socialising wasn't allowed, and my mind was unable to focus on things like books. I couldn't bring myself to feel excited or interested in absolutely anything, until on another day of braindead youtube watching, I suddenly felt a spark of interest when I started wondering which BTS member was the hot one in that one video (it was JK, who I would now never call 'the hot one'). I am so grateful to have felt so much excitement these last few months: for the new album, the new music video, the Vlives and Bombs, the Grammy nomination. I wish I could have felt that for a new book or a trip with friends but it just doesn't work that way. I don't know what would have happened these last few months if I hadn't found BTS but I know it would have been shit.
Get out of my own head enough to enjoy the wonderful things I already have planned: Scotland, weekend away with my friends, etc. I tried this very consciously for the weekend away I got to go on, so that was good. The trip to Scotland was unfortunately cancelled
End the year feeling less bleak about the future than this year Weirdly, yes. Right now, I'm okay with the future - maybe because I haven't been thinking about it as much lately, maybe because the pandemic has shown you truly never know what will happen next.
Do better at managing my household This has its ups and downs, but generally I do okay
Write. Not for anything or anyone, just write - reviews, blogs, the outline for that story I have in my head - anything. I completely forgot this was a resolution, huh. Not really, also didn't feel the need.
Next year I want to
If life returns to 'normal' at some point after the vaccinations start: enjoy all the little things I have been missing because of the pandemic. Restaurants, bars, theaters and concerts and cinemas full of people, crowded streets without a mask on, seeing my friends every few weeks in real life, going on trips, going on holiday.
Drive again
Do yoga regularly
Try to find a good balance between fandom and the other things I love
It's so hard to look forward or plan anything not knowing how the pandemic will evolve next year! So maybe just...keep it simple. Honestly, I just want to try living in the moment more. Just do the things I want to do, if I can. Don't take anything for granted.